I used to be such a burning example

Oh man i forgot how much i used to think i knew about the world. how i used to believe that one good song could change the course of a day and the possibly the world. i miss how young i was, i miss how dumb i was. it's scary to think that in these past few years i've grown up so much and so little all at the same time. when my mom was my age she had already had 2 kids, a marriage and a divorce. i've barely had a boyfriend. yet at the same time i have seen more of this country then she has. i don't know if i should be looking at it as a who was "older" persay because the world has changed so much in these past 20 years that it isn't even the same.
I used to think i wasn't growing at all but looking back on how i used to act and who i used to be i see that i have in fact changed, if it is for better or for worse i dont know. i mean i can have conversations about things that used to bore me ie politics, religion, current events. sure i'd still rather talk about anything but because me and my bestie are on the opposite sides of the spectrum on that but still we could talk if we wanted too. and we do sometimes. it is good for us.
i just don't understand why or how it can be that it has been 4 years since high school and 4 years since i've spoken to anybody from that school (that i graduated with) for more than a few minutes. i don't regret that decision but sometimes i wonder if what caused the rift between us allthose years ago was really worth it. i don't think about that often just really when someone from the school contacts me and then i try to remember why we stopped talking in the first place. mostly i believe it is because i skipped school so much for shows. or maybe because i wasn't' afraid to tell them my real opinions because at that time in my life (and still to this day) i feel as if i should say it how i see it. right or wrong i don't regret doing what i do.
most of my friends are too young to understand what it is to feel this confused because despite us all being "adults" we are all still "kids" we could go die for our country, a few of us can drink alcohol if we so chose and all of us don't know what it is to be an adult. what it means to be on our own trying to figure out what we are going to be doing in this world and how we can make it better. and i'm not talking about recycling and going green. i'm talking about how are we going to make it ok for our children to live here? our we going to make something beautiful or our we just going to be too lazy and let them figure it all for themselves? i know i had very little guidence in growing up and i wish if i ever had children that they wouldn't have to worry about that so much. i don't know maybe i'm just worried for nothing or maybe it is for everything.
we shall see